Steel Town Garage Resurrection........ ...The Creatures (Bethlehem, PA 1986)

The Creatures of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania circa AD 1984 were a revival of the vibrant Eastern PA rock'n'roll scene of the 1960s. The band was the creation of Garage Father Mark Smith, with the line-up of John Terlesky (JT), Dave Ferrara, Kenny Bussiere, and Mike Smitreski. By 1987 Terlesky, Bussiere, and Ferrara would break off to form The Original Sins.

Brother JT testifies:

...the first Creatures recording session had Scott Wilt on bass--I recall this because he, Dave Ferrara and I recorded what would be the Sins' first single Just 14 at the end of the session. Then we did another with Kenny, possibly re-doing some songs, Hemlock, 1000 Shadows etc. I had written a whole bunch of songs that were just shameless pastiches of more obvious 60's covers--Cy-o-nide is basically Too Much To Dream mixed with Friday On My Mind--so we could get the effect of those songs without actually having to do them. 

The funny thing is, as recently as 2011 I would still do some shows with the Creatures, and, derivative or not, they still kinda worked live. A good song is like a good old coat--it gets ratty and musty but it still gets the job done when you need it to. 

That recording session may have sown the seeds of schism, but Mark and Mike added new members to be resurrected as The Creatures of the Golden Dawn, and two great sects of Bethlehem garage rock emerged.  Amen!

I believe the "Demo 86" cassette contains the first recordings of the band.

The Creatures - Demo 86
Crazy Date
Thinking Out Loud
It's Not Love
A Thousand Shadows
Three O'Clock in the Morning
Hemlock Row
You're Gonna Get Yours
My Name Is Nothing
Cyonide
Don't Touch Me Now

Demo '86 was followed by another cassette called "The Creatures" and a single with the first lineup. The following tracks may or may not be from those releases:

You're Wrong
Last Laugh
Naked City
Walk Through Hell
I Tried My Best
Last Time Around (The Del-Vetts) live at Tops in Philadelphia

Thanks to Rustle Noonetwisting for rescuing the "Demo 86" tape, and to JT for the words.

For more Creatures of the Golden Dawn, check out the LP Dark Was the Night, Cold Was the Ground on Dionysus Records.




In memory the dearly departed Mark Smith and Mike Smitreski...
            ....and Peter Ryan who first played this tape for me at Temple U in 1987.

Bowie... ........................................ ...Waiting For The Man (BBC Radio 1972)

This Spiders from Mars version of Waiting for the Man might just surpass the original for me. 

I've had this outstanding tape labelled "Ziggy 1 / Ziggy 2" since I dubbed it from a cassette belonging to my late friend Markus around 1995 when we lived in a shared flat in San Francisco. I just finally bothered to look it up and found out it's of BBC Radio recordings, 1971-73.

...The OOgies............................... ...................(Lancaster 1991-92)

The Oogies are about the fourth generation in the gloriously convoluted inbred Gamber/Rex dynasty of Lancaster garage punk/metal bands: the Bodies to Last Knight to the Real Gone to Jack Lord's Hair I to II to III to the Oogies to Jack Lord's Hair IV and finally back to the Bodies....

Brainhammer (1991 cassette)
The One Before
Heads
OOgie Theme
Excess Is Not Abuse

Feedback Is an Act of God (1992 CD)

Cement

City of Light

New York's Alright

Cold & Calculated

Brainhammer

Red, White, and Blue

Pillhead With a Gun

God

Social Outcast

Love It To Death was a cleverly split single with Deadlove on the short-lived Web Of Sound Records, run out of the Lancaster record store of the same name.

Mark Gamber - Vocals
Rex Litwin - Guitar
Erik Sahd - Drums
Drew - Bass
Tim McDermott - Bass

photo by Laura Cotton

Fucked Up Bouncing Devil Bagels..... .....Tape Oddities.... (Lancaster mid-80s)

You never know what you'll find when you play out the leftover tape on the end of a cassette side. Sometimes it's the most interesting and weird stuff, like the dusty records stuffed under the bins at Stan's Record Bar: cutouts, promos, and wonderful crud that most normal people wouldn't buy. Here are a few cassette artifacts from Lancaster that haven't seen the light of day for nearly thirty years.

1. John Bear (Johnny Scrotum) of The Bodies and Last Knight solo ode to ..uh... Bagels.

2. Nobody's Fools tongue-in-cheek hessian riffs (complete with cowbell) eventually became part of the Jet Silver & the Dolls of Venus set.
Pick Up Some Chicks
Rock Today
I Love the Devil
...and their shot at hardcore:
Leave Me Alone

3. The Jet Silver & the Dolls of Venus b-side filler from guitarist Rex Litwin included some more hessian exploitation with authentic Last Knight tracks and "Dean Fox's Hair" Too Fucked Up To Drive, which later became a legit Jack Lord's Hair song.

4. Rex, Russ, and Nate's I Wish I Could Bounce from the same cassette seems to be an early foray into the strange tape-echoey world of Charms Du Crane.

Jack Lord's Hair ...... Season 2: ...... The Difference Between Trash and Garbage ..........................(Lancaster 1988)

The second season of Jack Lord's Hair starts to show a little maturity, not quite as silly as Season 1: War of the Monster Trucks, but with tongue still in somebody's cheeks. I'm off being a college kid, and Russ Cox takes over on bass, followed by Rick Bard on second guitar. JLH gets darker, grungier, and Rex gets more Johnny Thundersy seeing as he's moonlighting with Jet Silver & the Dolls of Venus. 

Just Add Water

Brain

Ground

Miley Road

Trailer Park

Too Fucked Up To Drive

The Difference Between Trash and Garbage

Blank

Old Crow

Ground

Trailer Park

Brain

Each And Every Day 

Miley Road

Waiting For Pizza II

Rustle Noonetwisting: [The show in Philly] was actually the finest JLH performance I've seen, broken bass drum pedal notwithstanding. That lineup with The Gurn Twins Rex Thunders and Rick just being Rick circa 1988 (much to the bewilderment of the jaded Phila punk crowd) juxtaposed against the tall skinny short-haired wiseacres M. Gamber was a sight to behold.

Mark Gamber: That bewilderment made it all worthwhile. F 'em if they can't take a joke and on at least a couple of levels the Hair was a damn funny joke. Half punk rock show, half stand-up comedy act, 100% entertaining. Even from the stage! Maybe especially from the stage. Never did see that girl again. She was the kind-of-cute friend of a way-freaking-cute but not punk rock girl I worked with at Mars Electronics in Folcroft back around the time of the Challenger explosion. I don't remember the incident as much as almost getting fired for telling the "7-up" joke a couple days after it exploded. Oops....

Stay tuned for Seasons 3 & 4 of Jack Lord's Hair, when things really get weird....

.....

..Jack Lord's Hair prequels, sequels & spinoffs:.. The Bodies, Last Knight,  The Sinister Lampshades, The Combat Hamsters, Substitute, The Obvious, The Real Gone, Fred, Penal Code, Bachelors With Guns, The Oogies, Charms du Crane, Jet Silver & the Dolls of Venus, Rocknoceros, Blue, The New Regency 5, Mud Pie Sun, The Chelsea Squares, Trio Agave, Gone to Seed.

 

Circle of Shit Show.......... .........Punk Rock Invades Lancaster

MAY 22, 1984

     Editor, New Era: Lancaster is about to be invaded! The enclosed poster was found taped to one of the trash containers in Downtown Lancaster announcing a punk rock "invasion" which will convene, of all places, in the YWCA, the Young Women's Christian Association. As a Christian, it seems to me highly incongruous for such a group to be allowed to offer their obscene and filthy entertainment in a place which historically has been known as "Christian."
     ... The four-letter work on the poster should be enough of a clue to their message! Their intentions are clear -- "Punk rock invades Lancaster." My Webster's dictionary defines "invade" as "To enter for conquest or plunder; to infringe or encroach on; to spread over injuriously and progressively as gangrene invades healthy tissue." Is this what we want for Lancaster? ... I for one deplore this "punk" appearance in the Lancaster YWCA and raise my voice in opposition to it in the name of decency. --a Christian

Circle Of Shit - The Punks Are Out Tonight

     Editor, New Era: I would like to correct some misinformation.... The YWCA is not sponsoring a punk rock dance.... We were approached regarding the rental of our facilities.... Before a contract was signed, however, a flyer announcing the event was distributed and posted in public locations. We found the flyer objectionable, and informed the sponsors that our facilities were not available.... --Susan C. Eckert, Executive Director

     Editor, New Era: I am writing concerning the letter written by a "Christian," and that person's attitude toward Punk Rock music....
     ... Punk music is not invading Lancaster. It has always been here and will always be here. Just because some do not appreciate this kind of music and lifestyle does not make it unnacceptable. Punks are a very misunderstood group in Lancaster. They are deemed outcasts because of the way they dress and the music to which they listen. In a free society, this is called bigotry and wholesale discrimination.
     As a whole, punks are not violent or obscene. There are good and bad people in any group.... Concerning the word in question, used on the flyers, granted the word should not have been printed. But why condemn the concert as "obscene" when there it so much true obscenity happening around us in the real world.
     All over the world, millions are oppressed, tortured, and killed outright because what they believe is different from what others believe. Censorship is a cruel tool if used blindly, as this "Christian" would do. The history of the Christian Church shows many battles against censorship....
     What the punks wanted was a place to enjoy live music. Now they must travel to enjoy a live concert because of the ignorance and intolerance in Lancaster County.
     I have one last question for this "Christian." What would you do to the punks in Lancaster? Erect a colosseum and throw them to the lions? --Dwight Yoder, Lancaster

     Editor, New Era: ... As for what Punk Rock stands for, do you really know? It's to solve all of the problems you and your so-called society have created.
     Have you tried addressing any of today's problems? We have. By trying to throw a show with all proceeds benefiting Lancaster's poor.
     Our goal would not have been conquest or plunder. We simply wanted to have a good time, and get rid of some pent up aggression. How do you get rid of your aggression? ...
     Don't be so quick to condemn Punks or our ideals. Maybe you should take a look at yourself and your ideals, Christian. --Roger Walton, A Punk And Proud Of It

..................

In memory of John Brubaker, who passed away this week. He was a native of Lancaster County, and the singer of Circle Of Shit.

Letters to the editor of the Lancaster New Era reprinted by Death Frisbee
Circle Of Shit Black Thoughts demo available on the Internet Archive
Circle of Shit page

K-tel presents: Memories from The Van.... .....Black Flag, Meat Puppets, Nig-Heist in Harrisburg 1984

April 1984, and Black Flag was playing less than an hour northwest of Lancaster, but none of us had our drivers license yet. This was probably the first hardcore band to play an all-ages show anywhere near Lancaster, as always, 4 or 5 years behind Philly and New York. We were listening to some punk rock: the Clash, Pistols, Ramones, and some new wave was breaking into top-40 radio. A few college DJs on WIXQ Millersville were playing some hardcore, and this was the same year that i92 "Rock of the 80's" briefly broadcast out of Philly, playing poppy new wave. Late at night they played some punk. Black Flag, Meat Puppets, and Nig Heist was in the middle of a touring binge of 36 cities in about 40 days when they came through an unsuspecting central Pennsylvania.

My parents had this customized 1976

Me & The Van in 1977

Dodge van that looked like a motorized Thomas Kinkaid painting. It must have been spring break, because I somehow talked them into driving me, my cousin Jimmy, and friends Andy, Megan, and Mark to the show. We tried to dress punk rock and piled into the plush interior of The Van, under the mirrored ceiling, and when they dropped us off at the club, the grownups went out for dinner... leaving us at this wholesome small-town all-ages show....

Memories from the kids in The Van:

Jim: We had a pre-show Polaroid that I lost track of around 10 years ago.

Tom: Ahgh, there was a photo - you're killin me!

Mark & Jim

Jim: The Polaroid showed our chosen outfits. Mark: black Adidas tee (sleeves cut off) me: tan and brown striped long sleeved rugby shirt complete with white collar and rubber buttons. I believe Mark borrowed a pair of Beatle boots from you, Tom. 

[Addendum January 2021: Jim found the photo in a shoebox!]

I remember everyone at the show being GIANT.  And the mix of mohawks to bikers seemed like 3:2. ZZ Top's "Cheap Sunglasses" played before one of the band's sets and this huge bearded biker played the smallest air guitar I had ever seen. His face squinted into classic rock ecstasy. Nig Heist was nude except for the singer's studded leather
jock.

Tom: I think the jock only lasted half a song at that. The bass player was still wearing his socks.

Andy: I can't remember if they played it at this show, but Nig Heist actually had a really great cover of a Velvet Underground song If She Ever Comes that I heard on Uncle Steven's Garage. To this day, this is one of those "songs that gets stuck in your head" for me.

Tom: This lends a whole new meaning to this song. I didn't recall them playing anything except for awful sludgy metally stuff and provoking the audience with sexual slurs. The audience was either laughing or angry. It wasn't meant to sound good, but tt was a pretty funny act at the time for me as a 15 year old boy. I was shocked and excited to see them go way over the line, and amazing to look back on that and see a group of wig-wearing adults putting on a totally irresponsible show in front of a bunch of teenagers. 

Andy: I think the point of Nig Heist was to be over-the-top offensive and vulgar in an almost Andy Kaufman way where half the audience thought they were being serious. About the only thing memorable about their set was them coming onstage naked.

Megan:

Ticket photo: Eric Cleland

 Perhaps Kaufmanesque but it felt like it was trying too hard. They never really did it for me.

Tom: After the Metron management shut down the lights and sound on them, they put some clothes back on. The bass player had on tightie whities for the rest of the set.

Jim: I remember thinking Meat Puppets sounded like CCR. 

Tom: Surprisingly, I don't remember the Meat Puppets musically, except they were so piercingly loud it was physically painful. Now I love their deceptively incompetent-sounding early music. 

Bucket Head
Climbing
Lost
Magic Toy Missing
Playing Dead
Communications Breakdown

Tom: This was my first punk or hardcore show and I remember eagerly jumping into the slam pit and having someone land squarely on top of my head within seconds. I saw stars for about ten minutes. Learned to keep my head down and be ready for incoming.

Megan: I remember you being fearless at that show, and not in a good way. I was certain you were going down early.

Tom: This and football were one of the few places you could go crashing into other people and have it

be socially acceptable, and it was so much fun. I tried the football and wrestling teams one year, but wasn't very good at it, except the crashing part.

Live '84

Six Pack

My War

Jealous Again

I Love You

Andy: I remember Henry Rollins ending the encore by saying something like, "You guys were great, thanks a lot" and then the sound man looped "thanks a lot, thanks a lot" over and over. Then Henry shouted, "that's Mugger mind control!" Mugger was their sound man on that tour and also the lead guy behind Nig Heist. 

Tom: When my folks picked us up after the show we were all excitedly talking (probably shouting because we couldn't hear) about everything we saw. It must have seemed like total debauchery to them. Nudity, stage diving, ringing ears; I'm sure they questioned the wisdom of their decision to allow us to go. I don't think Jim was allowed to go to any shows after that. It was a pretty radical event in my 15 year old life.

Jim: Woke up at your house, Tom, my ears ringing 'til lunchtime. That was pretty traumatizing. Definitely my most memorable trip to Harrisburg.

....

Live Recordings are from different shows in 1984. If any recordings from The Metron exist, please let me know!

Meat Puppets - LIVE cassette on Internet Archive
Black Flag - LIVE '84 on SST Records
Essential reading: Rock Town Hall's treatise on wearing shorts on stage - Rock's Unfulfilled Fashion Ideas: Shorts

Scott Miller... ................... ...Christmas for True Gamesters

Game Theory mailed Christmas tapes to fan club members in 1989 & 90. The truest gamester I know dubbed me a copy of the very silly Child's Christmas with it's most memorable Gordon Sumner send up and probably my first intro to Scott Miller.

True Gamesters (1989)

A Child's Christmas Saving The Whales

Water

True Gamesters Christmas Tape (1990)

Christmas Moog (recorded at Scott's parents house in 1977)


In Memory of Scott Miller (1960-2013)

Thanks to Rustle Noonetwisting for the original dub of the 1989 tape and cover scan, and to Rushbo at Big Plans for Everybody for the digital versions and info. Lots more Scott Miller rarities over there.

Todd Shuster's Report Cards ....... .............. (Philadelphia 1988-97)

After his marvelous pop punk to paisley journey with The Jags and The Impossible Years (1978-88), Todd Shuster disappeared into the grownup world of school teacher where, I can testify, nearly all free time gets sucked into the job and your commitment to the kids. What makes it fun and sustainable, and not just exhausting, is that teaching itself is an artistic outlet. But it's also necessary to keep some of your creative pursuits alive outside the classroom (hence tapewrecks for me). Todd, has maintained a low-intensity output of music on a 4-track recorder, releasing cassette demos and a 20-song CD in 1997 that's a tribute to his career.

King Leer

My Imaginary Friend

My You Museum (acoustic)

It Better Be

My Report Card

Was I There At All?
His Secret Vest 
Billy's Life  
Breakfast Man
The Elusive Ingredient 
Tempest in a Teacup

Most recently, Todd has recorded a track for the upcoming Television Personalities tribute on The Beautiful Music. The connection was The Impossible Years' Scenes We'd Like to See EP was the first release on Dan Treacy's Dreamworld Records. Happily, The Beautiful Music tracked down Todd for the tribute through this very blog.


Thanks to Rustle Noonetwisting for the demo tape and Todd for the CD.

Kirk & the Jerks ..... ................ ..Live at the Chameleon (Lancaster 1987)

Listening back on Kirk and the Jerks playing live, they were hanging on for dear life as they cut these songs loose with no brakes. My favorite moment: The joyously botched guitar bridge near the end of To Hell With 'Em All, followed by Kirk's "Aww fuck it!!" as the song nearly flies out of control. But they somehow manage to keep the pace up and hold it together through every one of these retro-punk masterpieces.

To Hell With 'Em All
Hang On to the Dream
Sonic Reducer
All Alone 
Standing at the Back Door
Never Ending Heartache
Out of My Head
Who Cares If Tomorrow Comes
It's Been a Long Time

Go back to Kirk and the Jerks' first tape, and even further back to their first band, Nobody's Fools.

The Jerks went on to play in Jet Silver & the Dolls of Venus, Substitute, Mystery City, The Stiletto Boys, and Dave's current band, The Dying Elk Herd, having more fun in the Conestoga River:
Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You!

Briggs Beall (Lancaster and Philadelphia 1984-89)

Briggs Beall was one of the first bands to play and record original not ready for primetime pop in 1980s Lancaster. Their first tape, Moral Complication, brought 80s jangle and post punk influences into their sound via a 4-track cassette machine and was an inspiration to the few other garage bands in town to start recording their own songs. Despite the variety of musical genres we played... pop, garage, punk, hardcore...we shared the bills at shows and a few dozen local fans that appreciated something original and creative.

The band lasted for five years. When members went separate ways, pursued careers, got married, had kids, Briggs Beall stopped playing, but, as friends, they've never broken up.

Fast forward to Spring of 2013, and the members of Briggs Beall reunite to support guitarist Rob Miller and his wife Suzanne with their simultaneous struggles with brain and ovarian cancer. Rob passed away in May, and in the wake of his death, band members and friends have been reassembling memories of the times they had with Rob and Briggs Beall, along with a few of Rob's own memories from emails and the band's Facebook page.

Moral Complication (1984)

6-7-8

Hopeless

Soldier of Fortune

Star Hits

Tent Town

Twos and Fours

Will You Buy Me Something

Yellow Bunnies

Kent Vienot - drums and lead vocals
Rob Miller - guitar and vocals
Dave Evans - bass
John Emery - guitar
Rob "Patch" Braden - drums
Mick McDermott - drums
Pete Senty - drums

John Emery: Long before Briggs Beall existed, music was a big part of our friendship. We felt as if we were part of a small minority of people interested in “alternative” music in Lancaster, and after being “roadies” a couple of times for my brother’s band [The Press Club], the idea was generated to form our own band. However, Rob Miller played clarinet in high school, and we weren’t so “alternative” that we would have a clarinet in a rock band, so Rob taught himself guitar.

Dave Evans: For me it meant learning to play any instrument and Rob had just started learning guitar. Freshman summer saw the creation of "The Rain." In various iterations it included Rob, me, Kent and Scott Stauffer. We toyed with being a reggae band - that was extremely brief. 

Those early days were fun and full of big ideas.  We had no clear direction and we weren't even sure from week to week about who was in the band. Thought about buying conga drums, marimbas and all kinds of things.  Ultimately we stuck with the instruments we actually had access to and the music we could play. 

John: The band started playing covers of favorite alt rock songs, including those of REM, The Smiths, Elvis Costello, etc.. We started writing a lot of original songs as well, something that had started with “The Rain”. Feeling that “The Rain” was a little depressing, we decided on a new name, “Briggs Beall”, the name of a character in a James Thurber short story. 

Dave: We wrote a few songs - Soldier of Fortune, Star Hits, Emotion:Anxiety. I think it was at Thanksgiving break of Sophomore year that John joined us and made us SOOOOO much better. That Christmas we recorded the "Moral Complication" tape and the rest is history! 

John: Bottle Refuge Studios was my family's basement and my brother Rob's 4-track recorder. It was aptly named "Bottle Refuge" because there were tons of empty bottles - not all beer (lots of diet pepsi) - littering the counter tops.

Live at Chameleon (1985)

Something

John: Rob Braden joined the band on drums in 1984, which allowed Kent to move into the front man/lead singer position. We released our 2nd self-titled cassette tape, which actually sold a couple hundred copies at Lancaster stores such as Stan's Records and Zap's. The band promoted itself by organizing a concert in a public square by the Brunswick Hotel in downtown Lancaster, which helped us to start building a small but loyal following. 

Briggs Beall (1986)

Walk Me Into the Cold and the Rain

Emotion Anxiety

Tad's Closet

John: The band continued to land gigs at Lancaster clubs, including The Inn in Millersville, where Rob M. was a student, and all ages shows at the Chameleon Club on its original location.

The Patch Sessions (1987)
All For Me
Assembly
Klingman

John: In 1986-1987 most of the band members moved to the Philadelphia area, where we were able to play a number of clubs in Philadelphia, including one of our favorites, JC Dobbs, as well as Khyber Pass, Revival, and the Ambler and Chestnut Cabarets. Rob B. was still living in Lancaster, and opted to leave the band in ~1987 due to the challenge of commuting to gigs in Philadelphia. Rob B. was succeeded by subsequent drummers Mick (‘87-’88) and Pete (‘88-’89), both of whom brought their own sounds to the band.

The Mick Sessions (1988)
Bored
Rosemarie

Mick McDermott: I remember my audition at Crefeld. When I walked in Rob Miller was closest to the door. I remember the Ric guitar the most, Rob was very warm and welcoming which put me at ease. To me he was extremely patient and when I would get cranky during practice he would say take it easy it is ok.I got a kick out of the pointy shoes at the gigs as well.

John: The Midgets of Rock tour, as Dave refers to it, was a weekend tour which took us to Buffalo NY to play a Friday night concert at the high school of Rob’s sister, followed by a drive to Pittsburgh to play at the legendary club, The Decade. The latter gig was booked by our manager Bob, who originally hailed from Pittsburgh. Bruce Springsteen was rumored to be in town that weekend, and he was known to show up at The Decade when in town, but alas, he never showed.

Looking back, with the exception of our drummers, we were all self-taught on our instruments, and the reason we achieved the limited success that we had was due to hard work, perseverance, and perhaps naiveté, not knowing that we really had no business playing in some of the clubs we performed.

Not sure if this is funny, or pathetic, but after having opened for several bands at JC Dobbs on South Street in Philadelphia, the manager, Cathy, was kind enough to book us for a headline gig on a weekday night. Unfortunately, the opening band was Trip Shakespeare, whose members ultimately went on to form the band Semisonic. Well, Trip Shakespeare were awesome musicians, and they completely blew us away musically. It was a pretty humbling experience for us, as we were perhaps not quite ready for a headline gig at Dobbs. On the bright side, that was where Rob learned of Trip Shakespeare, a band that he really enjoyed for years after.

Perseverance is something I think of when I think of Rob, as I have vivid memories of him, working through a guitar part with his long fingers, slowly and deliberately, then taking it home and practicing incessantly, eventually nailing the part. 

Dave: Rob's contributions evolved with the band. In the beginning Rob was very folky - Yellow Bunnies. He was the master of songs about nervousness - Emotion Anxiety, Tad's Closet. He was mod for a while. He had his Nehru jacket and his giant Beatle boots. He played with his huge toothy grin. My sister always comments about his smile when she talks about him. Towards the end he wrote with Pete - Evolution. Rob sang all the Violent Femmes songs and sounds more like Gordon Gano than Gordon Gano.

Kent: Rob’s rhythm guitar playing was the foundation of our sound. He truly brought unique musical ideas to song writing, often using dissonant chords and distinctive rhythms, which was a great counterbalance to the poppy tendencies of his bandmates.

John: Rob had style. Period. Rob could pull off fashions and haircuts that nobody else could. If we dressed like Rob, we would look like jerks, but Rob could pull it off. From puke green, to 70’s yellows, to his Dorothy Hamel pageboy haircut for a time, it looked good on Rob, and he wore it with style and confidence. 

Dave: Suzanne [Rob's wife] says “he shops like a girl” and she is right. Meticulously picking through every item – from the hat on his head to the shoes on his feet. 

One fall, Rob and Kent and I set off to NYC to get Rob some boots. He knew of a store and had an address. Mind you, this was before Siri directed us everywhere. We arrive in NYC and thought we needed to go to 80th street or somewhere such. After traveling up to the 80’s and then over what seemed to be all of NYC, and spending a lot of our cash to do so, we arrived in SOHO at the store where Rob found the coveted boots. We barely had enough money for the train fare home but we found the boots. He wore them at every show after that. 

Our hair and looks were all completely disparate--no wonder we never made it as a band.......... (Looks: Patch--Billy Idol tough guy, Kent--Michael Hutchence swagger; John--U2, tough guy, Rob--60's retro, garage band, Dave--jean jacketed guy of the 80's--too cool for school......) -Rob Miller 

John: Rob also wrote great lyrics, often a little dark, but very creative and poetic. His collaboration with Pete on the song Evolution was about roadkill. Who else would have written a song about roadkill, … but it worked.

The Pete Sessions (1989)

Evolution
With Flowers
Serious Time

John: There are lots of pictures in my head when I think about Rob in the band, from his cool Rickenbacker guitars, to stepping out front to sing Violent Femmes and Gang of Four covers, to playing one-finger organ on a cover of The Monkees Stepping Stone. And the audio ‘picture’ that is quintessentially Rob is his delivery of the phrase “... and I don’t like it” in the song Emotion-Anxiety.

I think the band stopped playing because we felt we had given music a good shot, and it was time to get on with our "real" careers. Dave was going to med school, Kent to graduate school (education), Rob was working as a biochemist, I was in grad school (molecular biology) and our drummer Pete was headed to architecture school. "Break up" is probably the wrong word, as we're all close to this day. In fact, every 3-5 years the core 4 of us (Rob, Dave, Kent, John) vacation together with our families. This started with Dave's wedding in 1997, with the most recent reunion in 2011.

Dave: I completely agree that using the word "breakup" to describe the band members moving on is not ideal. I agree with John's description. We were all in our mid 20's and saw a life beyond Briggs Beall. While we did move past the band, we also kept a finger on the guitar string. What is it that the Sirius station says, "Respect for the past without being stuck in it"? Briggs Beall existed for about 5 years. They were great years full of hard work and fun – but formative ones as well. The band and music served as the foundation for a lifelong friendship that has endured for over 30 years – years that have seen raucous laughter, bad breakups, successful marriages, fantastic children and a lot of great times then and through the years.

Briggs Beall on Facebook
Briggs Beall on SoundCloud
Rob Miller's Obituary 

For Rob Miller and his friends and family.

The Dead Milkmen - The Fictitious Years (Coatesville/Philly 1979-83)

Pope Garth O'Neil

I first heard the Dead Milkmen from some tapes lent to me by Rustle Noonetwisting: Millersville Delivery from the early "Bitchin' Camaro" era, and the Summertime Sampler of earlier home taped curiosities recorded over "Agriculture in the South," stolen from Coatesville High School where they all had attended school.

These were a few of the custom tapes they gave out to friends and college DJs. Some of the songs were from recordings made during what became known as the "Fictitious Years," before the Dead Milkmen became a real band, kind of like the formative Hardcore Devo tapes. Full of pre-PC unhinged adolescent girl songs, grating topical silliness, and fantastic pop ditties... Core members included Jack Talcum, Pope Garth O'Neil, and Jake Jiles (later known as Rodney Anonymous).

Rodney: ...Supposedly this whole thing sort of started from this board game that Joe created, that him and his friend Garth, and his family would play, where you would make songs, and then you would roll dice and spin things, and you would try to get your song up the chart. So at one point in the game, all of Joe’s songs are about “Joe is so wonderful.” And Garth’s songs are like “I hate Joe – Joe is the scum of the Earth.” And they would race up and down the charts.

Jack Talcum

Joe: At one point I came up with the concept of Jack Talcum and the Dead Milkmen, and I made a fake fan club newsletter about this band called The Dead Milkmen.  Jack Talcum was kind of like this folk guy, obnoxious folk singer, character, sort of based on Bob Dylan, but not really, and he met the Dead Milkmen band which is this punk band, and he integrated himself into that band and sort of took the band over and formed what I was calling folk punk, or punk folk, or whatever… which I thought was a hilarious combination. I would never have guessed it would be un-hilarious…. 

Rodney: The fictitious concept started off as this sort of family band. I think they were called the Deeks Brothers or something. And over the years, they start in the late 50’s, almost like a folk--like the Kingston Trio. And then, as the 60’s go on, they go through all these changes. So they basically become this huge group called the Sunflower Children of God, which is almost like the Manson Family with instruments…. And somehow they become the Milkmen, and then one of them dies…. This guy by the name of Richard Nixon, in the story…. 

What happened to Rickard Nixon was, this guy had taken a lot of drugs. He was in the Sunflower Children of God, and he woke up, and he couldn’t remember his name, so he picked up the newspaper, and Nixon was president at the time, so “Richard Nixon, that’s who I am.” So he’s playing organ on something, and he dies, and his head hits the organ. And Joe would actually make these songs, so you would hear this “euuuuuh” in the background, and that would be Richard Nixon’s dead head on this organ. So this is the beginning of the breaking of punk now in the story, and so it’s like ’75 or so in the story, and he dies and they become the Dead Milkmen, and that’s where I came into it, but there’s this incredible backstory….

Joe: To go with it I decided to make a tape, so I invited Garth, my neighbor, and a friend of his, and my brothers and sisters, and whoever was around, and we recorded a tape, I think it was around the end of 1979…. And called it So Long Seventies…. I made a few copies of it, and Garth gave it to Rodney in high school. And he heard the tape and approached me waiting for the bus after school one day and said, "Hey I like that tape you made, the Dead Milkmen. When's your next recording session? I would love to be in it. I play banjo." …And he came over with his banjo and we recorded some songs and that became "Folk Songs for the 80's." That's how Rodney became part of "the act." so to speak. 

Rodney: I became aware of punk, I was about 13 my parents called me downstairs because the Sex Pistols were on TV and they were fascinated, they loved them, they were like, “Look at this! You gotta see this! This is great!” because they were spitting and they were telling the interviewer they wouldn’t talk to him unless they gave them 10 bucks. And my parents, being working class people, saw what they were doing. They were monkey wrenching this horrible system that was so fake anyway… So I was really interested in that, and I was kind of branching out finding music. 

...One day [Joe] hands me this tape, this would have been right after New Years of 1980, and it’s So Long Seventies, ...this weird homemade punk tape…. Supposedly one of the guys that collaborated, his great grandfather had written that song, “Jesus loves the little children” so Joe had this song about "Reach Out and kick that child,” it was so great! ...Just weird! Something done in their basement, so I asked if I could kind of get in on it, and I started working with him.

And just to kind of step into all of this, it was a great world to live in because you didn’t have to strive for fame. In one way you already had succeeded. We would take pictures of ourselves, and crop them out, and we would pretend we play the big Reggae Sunsplash festival. And we’d write these newsletters. It was great practice for being in a band.

Joe: ...I'd compile songs I'd recorded. I must've made 5 or 6 cassette albums of the band before it was an actual band using like overdubs.... -Rodney and Joe from audio interviews by Joseph A. Gervasi on LOUD! FAST! PHILLY!

Joe has posted some of the original tapes with the commentary excerpted below on Joe Jack Talcum's Bootleg of the Month Archives. Most of the rest can be found on the Short Bus Degenerates Milkhouse. I've collected my own bootleg's worth of my favorites from each tape, and included tapes that I haven't found yet, or that are lost somewhere in the analog abyss. Even the band members no longer have them, but Rustle's Summertime Sampler has a few songs that were originally from these missing tapes! So maybe we can bring these back to life like reviving the woolly mammoth with DNA and live elephants.

One ... Two ... Three ... Seven....!

So Long Seventies (December 1979)

Please Don't Touch Me

Get Up On Your Knees

When You Are Dead

Rodney: Here's a thought that'll keep you up at night: I listened to this tape and said "Yes, I would, indeed, like to commit several decades of my life to this project."

Folk Songs for the 80s (1980)
Mr. Radioman
Kill Him Quick!

Sour Milk (April 1980)

Time

Kiss My Lips

Idiot

Sour Milk

Music for the Mindless (1980)
(Lost in the analog abyss, but this version from the Summertime Sampler might be originally from this tape. In fact, side B of the Sampler was originally labeled Music for the Mindless.)
Cerobectocismio

For Die Hard Fans Only (1980)

(Also lost in the abyss)

Doctor Talcum's Studio of Fear (December 1980-January 1981)
She's a Bomb
Spit on Me
Girl Hunt
Johnny Keys (Mystery Eyes)
On Bandstand

Cows and Gals (1981)
(Lost, but these 2 tracks from Summertime Sampler might have been from this tape)
Stuffed Animal
Plum Dumb

Raging Cow (June 1981)

Get Happy

Paradise Lagoon (August 1981)
D.H.
Confusion
Curl With the Curly Hair

The Salamander Sessions (Summer 1981)
(The original album The Last Known Address of Jonathan Salamander is lost, but Joe found some of the recordings.)
Toilet Stall Song
She's So Gay
Mellow Fellow
A Minute Closer to Death The band's sendoff to Garth after he joined the Air Force.
Nuwav

Joe: During the summer between my freshman and sophomore years at college I lived with my folks in Wagontown and got a job as busboy in a Ramada Inn restaurant in nearby Downingtown. I recently stumbled across some cassette source tapes from this period, labeled "Studio Tape 2" and "Studio Tape 3". 

My method of "multi-track" recording back then involved playing back the original base recording from one cassette deck into another deck which had a line-in and a microphone-in which could be mixed. That mixed signal would be recorded as the overdubbed track. If I wanted more overdubs, I repeated the process. I had to be careful to get the right levels during the overdub recording because that would be the final mix. Usually I would keep the original take of a song, and the final overdubbed version. Most of the in-between takes would be dubbed over to save tape. This is how I recorded all of the early fictional Dead Milkmen albums.

Anyway, after reviewing these "Studio Tapes" I realized that many of these songs were ones that were released on the long lost "The Last Known Address of Jonathan Salamander" album.

Living Death in the Cellar of Sin (November 1981)
Milkmen Moo

This psuedo-live recording came to me by way of a posting on the Dead Milkmen's Free-for-All message board. It was recorded in one afternoon in the basement of my parent's house while I was home from college on thanksgiving break, and 'released' the next month with a quickly drawn cover. 

In their fictitious world, this 'show' was the first of the Dead Milkmen's tour of the Congo (where they were curiously famous) and was recorded for release as their next album. This recording is not exactly a live recording, however, because an overdub was made to enhance instrumentation on a couple of the songs (believe it or not). But, both the original take and the overdub were done in one take (discounting stopping the tape recorder to change instruments).

Nine New Sins (Winter 1981-82)

Have You Slugged Your Kids Today?
Screaming in the Library

This extremely limited edition, hand-packaged e.p. was recorded sometime during my winter break from college (1981-82). Rodney was my songwriting collaborator for about half of these songs. He also performed on the recordings he helped write. (Some of these songs were later recorded and performed by the real Dead Milkmen.) These recordings precede my first meeting of Dave Blood by about a month. I would meet him after returning to college from my break. Also, Rodney and I were soon to see Dean perform in the band Narthex at the famous Landmark Tavern in Philadelphia, though we would not know at the time that he would eventually become the real Dead Milkmen's drummer.

Purgatory Beat (1982)
Taking Retards to the Zoo
Stupid Maryanne
Runaround
Dance With Me

Wisconsin (1982)
Wisconsin

A Date with The Dead Milkmen (March 1983)
(This might be crossing into the non-fictitious era, but still before the band was fully assembled.)
Filet of Sole
Right Wing Pigeons from Outer Space

Dean: This was recorded in Manayunk on Baker Street where Joe and Dave (plus others) shared an apartment, and released to friends in 1983 – before I joined the band. I believe that Rodney is playing drums on these recordings. Maybe Joe or Rodney can provide some details about this tape in the comments.

Joe: Rodney did play drums on some of these tracks (Filet of Sole is one) and, through the magic overdubbing, Dave Blood played both bass and drums on others (Ask Me to Dance is one). There were no other drummers. It’s still hard for me to believe that Dean was willing to join the band even after hearing this tape. 

I’m also amazed now that we had the audacity to sell copies of this tape to a local indy record shop. AND we sent to it to a local ‘zine which reviewed it (our first press!). Each copy of the tape (we made 10) was packaged with hand-colored xeroxed art covered in clear contact paper plus Scotch tape over a hand-cut cardbaord case. The very bad art is mine. -From The Dead Milkmen Archives 

Millersville Delivery (1983)
Bitchin' Camaro

Rodney: Alone in rock and roll history, Joe Jack Talcum took a fake band and actually made it a real band. And I can’t think of anybody else that said, “Alright I’m gonna write stories about this band. Now I’m gonna have people populate it.” Maybe, we talk about stuff like the Monkees, the Banana Splits, the Archies, which were made to be synthetic. Joe just figured this needed to be. If we didn’t exist, somebody had to fill that niche. It was an actual band, which was kind of odd…. Every now and then, when I’m on stage, I think “wow this all kind of started with Joe writing short stories. I’m kind of maybe playing a part, or caught up. Maybe we’re all part of the short story.” -From LOUD! FAST! PHILLY!

The Official Dead Milkmen Website
Dead Milkmen Free for All
Joe Jack Talcum
Rodney Anonymous Tells You How to Live
LOUD! FAST! PHILLY!
Short Bus Degenerates
The Dead Milkmen Archives
Dead Milkmen discography